Monday, December 12, 2005
Having a Toddler is Shitty
Current mood: amused
Okay, I'm sure some of you read the subject and gasped at my lack of maternal instincts, and general bad attitude about my darling oldest. Wrong. Having a toddler has proved to be shitty, quite literally. Today, I have cleaned shit off my child, her room, her sheets, pillow, toys, etc twice. Twice. Yes, those of you with babies, or who will one day have them, this is probably in your future as well, so go ahead and laugh. Laugh again, because it's not only happening now, it's in my future as well, if Tara takes after her artistic older sister. Now, twice in one day, that sounds a little extreme doesn't it? Think it's a fluke? Well, think again, she has not yet broken her previous record of 3 room redecorations in a particular shade of brown (with or without corn chunks). The question is, how can we remedy this situation? Well, if you know the answer drop me a line will ya? I've tried losing my temper and screaming, explaining rationally (to a toddler!), begging, and not reacting at all. The poop paintings continue. She's done it know enough times to be a pro for sure. I should just keep a onesie on her? Footie pajamas? Oh no, not enough for young Miss Houdini, master of escape. She can, and will, remove any and all clothing and diapers. Duct tape may work, but I'd have to apply it directly to skin. Call me a wus, but I think that just may qualify as abuse. So there you have it, I love my children more than I can explain, they're fun to be with and I wouldn't change them for the world, BUT having toddlers is shitty.
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